Most commented jokes

How can you tell if your date really digs oral sex?
→ She hikes up her skirt every time you yawn.

Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
→ Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.

Two young girls were talking about their sex lives when the first girl says:

- Oh my god!, it was really great, but I was Sooo scared after his rubber broke. I didn't get a good night's sleep for a week.

- What happened. - Says her intrigued friend.

- I didn't know what I was going to do, but I was finally able to get the last little piece of it out with dental floss.

Two bikers were talking at a bar.

- How's married life? - asks the first.

- It's fine - says the second.

- How's the sex? - asks the first.

- Fine - says the second,

- At least I don't have to wait in line!

Why is having a wank like eating McDonald's?
→ Because it's always exactly the same and afterwards you... swear you'll never do it again.

A couple on their honeymoon woke up after their big night.

The bride rolled over and said:

- That was nice but tell me, what did my pussy look like before you rooted it?

The husband replied:

- Like a beautiful rose with drops of dew on it.

- That's nice honey - she replied,

- What did it look like after you rooted it?

- Like a bulldog eating porridge - the husband replied.

A guest from some foreign country was bragging that in HIS country there is 79 different ways to make mad passionate love.

Ray listened patiently.

- That's amazing. Where I come from there's really only one.

"Oh," sniffed the Romeo, "just one? And which way is that?"

- Well, there's a man and there's a woman . . .

"Praise Allah!!! Number 80!!!"

A middle-aged guy and his date are making out hot and heavy in the movies when his toupee slides off. As he's groping around for it, his hand goes between her legs, up under her skirt, and lands on her twat.

She says:

- That's it! That's it!

He says:

- It can't be. I part mine on the side.

In the Sex Ed class the teacher says:

- All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for making sex.

The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back:

- Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?

Johnny says:

- Seventy-three.

The teacher says:

- Oh, my goodness...uh...very good, John, very good...

She calls on Becky in the front and says:

- All right, Becky, how about you?

Becky says:

- Gee, teacher, I only came up with one...where the guy just lays on top of the girl.

Johnny yells:

- Seventy-four.

Jake is 85, and he gets married to a 16-year-old. He walks into the local bar when he gets back from his honeymoon, and all the guys want to hear about his wedding night.

Jake says:

- Well, when we got to the hotel, my youngest son carried me up the stairs, undressed me, and lifted me onto the bed with my bride, so's me and her could spend the night together. The next morning all three of my sons came upstairs and lifted me off of her.

The bartender says:

- Why did it take three sons to get you off?

Jake says:

- I fought 'em.