Women Jokes — best jokes

Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner?
→ In the pages of a romance novel.

What is the thinnest book in the world?
→ What Men Know About Women.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
→ Because those men already have boyfriends.

Why do men like smart women?
→ Opposites attract.

What should you give a man who has everything?
→ A woman to show him how to work it.

There were 11 people hanging on to a single rope that suspended them from a helicopter trying to bring them to safety. Ten were men; one was a woman.

They all decided that one person would have to let go because if they didn't, the rope would break and all of them would die.

No one could decide who it should be. Finally the woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving things up for their husbands and children and giving in to men.

All of the men started clapping.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
→ Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

How do you turn a Fox into a Pit Bull?
→ Marry her!

An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man is a savage" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is a savage."

The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is a savage."

A wife was berating her husband. He motioned for her to quiet down saying, "Don't unleash the beast in me."

The wife snickered and replied, "Unlike a lot of women, 'dear', I'm not the least bit afraid of a mouse."