Situations — best jokes

How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None: Arians aren't afraid of the dark.

How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Just the one. You want to make something of it, eh?

Why did the witch lose her way?
→ Because her hat was pointing in the wrong direction.

What happened to the witch with an upside down nose?
→ Every time she sneezed her hat blew off.

How do warty witches keep their hair out of place?
→ With scare spray.

Did you hear about the witch who was ashamed of her long black hair?
→ She always wore long gloves to cover it up.

Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella?
→ Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

You're hiking around on Hampsted Heath (a park near London) at the end of a long sunny day. You run across (separately) the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Baden Powell, and Sir Edmund Hillary, who all give you directions to the nearest tube stop. Whom don't you believe? Your story teller, for there is no such thing as a completely sunny day in England.

When the picture of the vampire's grandmother crashed to the floor in the middle of the night what did it mean?
→ That the nail had come out of the wall.

Why did the vampire attack the clown?
→ He wanted the circus to be in his blood.