Situations — best jokes

I saw a garbage truck driving yesterday. You never told me you were moving.

Your breath is so bad that when you talk your teeth duck.

Oh my God!!! What's that big ugly thing on your neck?! Oh, it's just your head.

your family is so poor.......... the family vehicle is a skateboard.

She's like yesterday's coffee -- a little weak in the bean.

She has a pretty little head-- for a head, it's pretty little.

- I've just come back from the beauty parlor!

- What a pity it was closed!

You've a face like a million dollars.
All green and wrinkled!

- I never forget a face!

- But in your case I'll make an exception!

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you're the new father of twins!"

The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife's room.

About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith's wife has just had triplets.

Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company."

The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."