Police Jokes — best jokes

- Hello, police? Please send an officer over to 324 London Road right away!

- Sorry, this isn't the police station. It's the Delicatessen.

- Oh. Well, in that case, please send over a pastrami sandwich!

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"

"Yes," the golfer responded.

"Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?"

"Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked.

"Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?"

The golfer thought it over carefully and responded...

"I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."

Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?
→ The police.

How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?
→ Studying their Miranda Rights.

Big Ron was caught speeding on his way to the City Ground today.
"I'll do anything for 3 points", he said when questioned.

What do you call a snake that informs the police?
→ A grass snake!

- Policeman: Why didn't you check your speedometer?

- Driver: It broke when I hit 100.

A policeman came upon a super-salesman about to jump from a bridge and yelled, "Wait, Fellow! Please don't do that!!!"

The salesman said, "Why not?" and proceeded to expound on his views on the shaky economy, declining family life and Clinton politics.

Shortly thereafter, they both jumped.

What language do the Vatican Police speak?
→ Pig Latin!

Did you hear the Energizer Bunny was arrested?
→ Charged with battery!