Gender Jokes — best jokes

Why did God create men first? Because we learn from mistakes.

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!"
The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "Stupid!"
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner he slams into a pig in the middle of the road.

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger.
What do men dream of?
→ Being stuck in a lift with the Spice girls.

If a man says something in the middle of a forest, and there is no women around to hear him, is he still wrong?

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!"

- What's the problem, Eve?

- Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy.

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

- Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples.

- Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you.

- What's a 'man', Lord?

- This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack.

"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.

- Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, you can have him on one condition.

- What's that, Lord?

- You'll have to let him believe that I made him first.

Why did God create a man before a women?
→ You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."

What did God say after she made Eve?
→ "Practice makes perfect."

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
→ Both of them.

A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
→ Dating children.