Blonde Jokes — best jokes

How can you tell a blonde is under stress?
→ She's got her tampax behind one ear and she can't find her pen!

Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. She got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout.

Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie's schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out.

They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event - hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would.

About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally:

- I can't make the supper. I can't light a fire with the matches you brought.

Sally replied:

- I don't understand! Those matches should be perfectly fine. I tested them all just before we left.

Why were blondes created?
→ Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge

What did the blonde say when the docter told her one leg was bigger than the other?
→ Like, Not even!

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her:

- There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal.

- That doesn't matter - replied the blonde.

- if I only can sell the car.

- Okay - said the brunette.

- Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter on your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore.

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde:

- Did you sell your car?

- No - replied the blonde.

- why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

There are three girls in the Fifth Grade. There is a blonde a brunette and a redhead.

Which one is the probably the smartest?
→ If you guessed the blonde you were correct.... she's 19 years old!

One day a burnette and a blond lady were walking through the park. All-of-a-sudden, the burnette stops and says "Awe, look at the poor dead birdy." The blond looks up and says "Where!?"

Why do blondes where underwear?
→ To keep their ankles warm.

Two brunettes and a blonde are having lunch at a cafe, all three are pregnant. Through out the coversation the topic of sex and pregnancy comes up, finally culminating in each one discussing their respective fetus' and the manner of conception.

The first brunette says:

- I know I am going to have a boy because I was on top.

The second brunette says:

- I know I am going to have a girl because I was on the bottom.

The blonde is silent, she has a stricken look on her face, finally she bursts out:

- Oh my god, I'm going to have a puppy.