Animal Jokes — best jokes

Fred's class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. "Did you enjoy yourself?" asked her mother when she got home.
"Oh, yes," replied Fred. "But it was funny going to a dead zoo."

Come on, Fred, I'll take you to the zoo. If the zoo wants me, let them come and get me!

Some vampires went to see Dracula. They said, "Drac, we want to open a zoo. Have you got any advice?"
"Yes," replied Dracula, "have lots of giraffes."

- I took my son to the zoo yesterday.

- Really, did they accept him?

- I was in the zoo last week.

- Really? Which cage were you in?

Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo?
→ One to get in and one to get out.

- What kind of sharks never eat women?

- Man-eating sharks.

Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed?
→ To feed her nightmare.

Did you hear about the witch who fed her pet vulture on sawdust?
→ The vulture laid ten eggs and when they hatched, nine chicks had wooden legs and the tenth was a woodpecker.

What did the witch say to the ugly toad?
→ I'd put a curse on you - but somebody beat me to it!