One day the zookeeper noticed that the orang-utang was reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.
In surprise he asked the ape:
- Why are you reading both those books?
- Well, - said the orang-utang, - I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother.
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo:
- How high do you think they'll go?
- About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night! - said the kangaroo.
Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says, "DING!"
Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ A hundred, but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world.
How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Well, you have to remember that everything is energy so...
How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Only one Arian, but an awful lot of light bulbs.
(smash)
