A Russian walks into a bar and orders a beer.
- That will be one ruble - says the bartender.
- One ruble! - the customer protests
- last week it was only fifty kopeks!
- Well - replies the bartender
- it's fifty kopeks for the beer and fifty kopecs for the perestroika.
Reluctantly, the customer gives the bartender a ruble, and is surprised when the bartender gives him back fifty kopecs and says:
- We are out of beer.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of pregnancy in the world. Proceed with caution.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
- Shhaaayyy, buddy, what's a 'Breathalyzer'? - asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool.
- Well, I'd have to say that it's a bag that tells you when you've drunk way too much - answered the equally wasted gent.
- Ah hell, whaddya know? I've been married to one of those for years!
