Best jokes

- Passenger: Will this bus take me to New York?

- Driver: Which part?

- Passenger: All of me, of course!

How can you kill an idiot with half a dollar?
→ Throw it under a bus.

- Teacher: Tommy Russell, you're late again.

- Tommy: Sorry, sir. It's my bus - it's always coming late.

- Teacher: Well, if it's late again tomorrow, catch an earlier one.

A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the man's supper and began whining and jumping up at him.

- Do you mind if I throw him a bit? - said the man to the lady.

- Not at all - she replied, whereupon the man picked the dog up and threw it over a wall.

What's the difference between a bus driver and a cold?
→ A bus driver knows the stops, and a cold stops the nose.

Roger was sitting in a very full bus when a fat woman opposite said:

- If you were a gentleman, young man, you'd stand up and let someone else sit down.

- And if you were a lady - replied Roger - you'd stand up and let four people sit down.

Why couldn't the skeleton pay his bus fare?
→ Because he was skint.

What would you get if you crossed King Kong with a skunk?
→ I don't know but it could always get a seat on a bus!

What do monsters play when they are in the bus?
→ Squash.

Why were the burgers in the refrigerator embarrassed?
→ They saw the salad dressing!