Best jokes

What does Clinton have in common with his Hollywood pals?
→ They all make a living by lying to people.

Why did Clinton choose Canada as the site for his summit with Yeltsin?
→ So he could look up some college buddies who moved up there during the war.

Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier?
→ To promote off-shore drilling.

What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter?
→ It took Bill less than 100 days to botch a military mission.

Why is Bill infuriated with Chelsea's new private school?
→ They broke family tradition by making her wear a uniform.

What is Clinton's plan to create thousands of small businesses?
→ Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years.

What was the real purpose of Bill's college visit to Moscow?
→ To study economics.

What will Bill's favorite retail outlet be after his economic blueprint takes effect?
→ Everything's $100.

President Clinton, returning from a campaign stop in Arkansas, is climbing the steps to board Air Force One. Under each arm he is carrying a souvenir of his trip -- a live razorback. At the top of the jetway, he is met by the guard, a Marine sergeant, who issues a crisp salute.

- I'd salute you back, Sergeant - says the President, but as you can see, I've got my hands full.

- Yes, sir - replies the sergeant.

- Very nice pigs, sir. Very nice pigs.

- Why, these aren't pigs - the President responds.

- These are RAZORBACKS!

- Yes, sir -- razorbacks. Sorry, sir.

- Yup - Clinton continues.

- Got this one for Chelsea, and this one for Hillary.

The sergeant replies:

- Very good trade, sir -- very good trade.

In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep with President Clinton?" 86% replied, "Not again"