These two Scottish characters are chatting. One of them then pulls out an expensive looking pocket watch from his pocket to check the time.
- That's a fine watch you got there! - says the other.
- Yeah it is, isn't it? I got it from my grandfather - says the guy with the watch.
- Really?
- Yeah, he sold it to me on his death bed.
Once upon a time Nasa decided to send 3 astronauts to space for 2 years. One was American, One was Russian and the other was English. NASA allowed each of them to take 200 pounds of baggage each. The American decided to take along his wife, the Englishman decided to take along books to learn how to speak German whilst the Russian decided to take along cigarettes. Two years later, when the space shuttle landed, there was a big crowd waiting to welcome them home.
First came the American and his wife and each of them had a baby in their arms. Next came the Englishman speaking fluent German. They both gave their speeches and got a rousing round of applause. Suddenly, out came the Russian with a cigarette in his mouth. He walked up to the podium, snarled at the crowd, and asked:
- Has anyone got a friggin' match?
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, definitely Caucasian white baby boy!
- Congratulations - says the nurse to the new parents.
- What will you name the baby?
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says:
- Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong!
What should Iraq get for its air defense system?
→ A refund.
Why doesn't Saddam go out drinking?
→ Why should he when he can get bombed at home?
where does saddam hussein keep his c.d collection?
→ In Iraq (a rack)
What's the fastest way to end an Iraqi bingo game?
→ Call B52
What is Iraq's national bird?
→ Duck.
Why did the Aggie think the weatherman got the sunny forecast wrong?
→ The Aggie drove through a car wash
What do you call a man with a kilt over his head?
→ Scott!
