Best jokes

One night, God spoke to a preacher to tell him what he wanted him to do.

After God had briefed him on his mission, the minister decided to ask him a question.

- God - he said:

- What is heaven like?

God replied:

- Well, normally I don't tell people this, but since you are my servant, I guess I can tell you. Heaven will be like a city. It will have the best of everything. For example, the French will be the chefs; the Italians will be the lovers; the English will be the policeman; the Germans will be the mechanics; and the Dutch will be the politicians!

The man looked pleased.

- What is hell like? - he asked.

- Well - he said with a sigh:

- the French will be the mechanics; the Italians will be the politicians; the English will be the chefs; the Germans will be the policemen; and the Dutch will be the lovers.

Where is the world's fastest chicken from?
→ Ethiopia!

An insect falls into a mug of beer.

English Man: Throws his mug of bear on the floor and walks out.

American Man: Takes out the insect and drinks tbe beer.

Chinese Man: Eats the insect and throws the beer.

Indian Man: Sells the insect to the Chinese and the beer to the Englishman and buys himself a new mug of beer.

Pakistani Man: Accuses the Indian of throwing the insect into his mug, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for military aid and takes a loan to buy another mug of beer.

Where does an Irish person go on a vacation?
→ A new bar

Two men drive into a car wash. Which one is the Irishman?
→ The one on the motorbike.

What do you call Italian women in a sauna?
→ Gorillas In The Mist!

Why did the Italian boy want to grow a mustache?
→ So he could look like his mama.

What does K-mart stand for?
→ Kuz Mexicans Are Rich Too

Did you know they are taking out all the K-Marts in Afghanistan?
→ They are putting in TARGETS!!!

This small Latino man walks into a bar, sits, and orders a beer. A big man comes in, taps him on his shoulder, and says:

- You're sitting in my seat!

The same Spanish man ignores him and orders another beer. The man again taps him on his shoulder, and tells him he's sitting in his seat.

The same Spanish man gets up, leans over the seat, and says:

- I don't see your name on it.

He sits down again and orders still another beer.

- The man says... I know Karate!

The small Latino man says:

- I know JUDO! JU DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE A GUN! JU DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE A KNIFE!