Best jokes

- Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce? - the solicitor questioned his client.

- Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?

- Oh, no - replied Mrs. O'Connor.

- Shure now, we have a carport.

The solicitor tried again:

- Well, does the man beat you up?

- No, no - said Mrs. O'Connor, looking puzzled.

- Oi'm always first out of bed.

Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again.

- What I'm trying to find out are what grounds you have.

- Bless ye, sor. We live in a flat -- not even a window box, let alone grounds.

- Mrs. O'Connor - the solicitor said in considerable exasperation.

- you need a reason that the court can consider.

- What is the reason for you seeking this divorce?

- Ah, well now - said the lady.

- Shure it's because the man can't hold an intelligent conversation.

A man is incomplete until he is married.

After that, he's finished.

Losing a wife can be hard. In most cases, it is damned near impossible.

What two letters do you say when you answer the phone?
→ LO

What letters are not in the alphabet?
→ The ones in the mail, of course!

Who does Dracula get letters from?
→ His fang club.

Where do ghosts mail their letters?
→ At the ghost office.

His girlfriend returned all his letters.
I bet she marked them "second class male!"

What do you call a Welshman who writes lots of letters?
→ Pen Gwyn!

Why do people leave letters at the football ground?
→ They want to catch the last goal-post!