- Igor: Only this morning Dr Frankenstein completed another amazing operation. He crossed an ostrich with a centipede.
- Dracula: And what did he get?
- Igor: We don't know - we haven't managed to catch it yet.
- Dr Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It's a new pill consisting of 50 per cent glue and 50 per cent aspirin.
- Igor: But what's it for?
- Dr Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What happened to Frankenstein's stupid son?
→ He had so much wax in his ears that he became a permanent contributor to Madame Tussaud's.
What does Frankenstein's monster call a screwdriver?
→ Daddy.
What happened to Frankenstein's monster on the road?
→ He was stopped for speeding, fined $50 and dismantled for six months.
Frankenstein was sitting in his cell when suddenly through the wall came the ghost of his monster, with a rope round his neck. Frankenstein said:
- Monster, monster, what are you doing here?
The monster said:
- Well, boss, they hanged me this morning so now I've come to meet my maker.
How did Dr Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
→ On a piece rate.
Why did Frankenstein squeeze his girlfriend to death?
→ He had a crush on her.
Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
→ He wanted cold hard cash!
After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news:
- Honey, we've finally got enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979.
- You mean a brand-new Cadillac? - she asked eagerly.
- No - said the husband - a 1979 Cadillac.
