A very tall monster with several arms and legs, all of different lengths, went into a tailor's shop.
- I'd like to see a suit that will fit me - he told the tailor.
- So would I, sir - said the tailor. So would I.
- Here's a good book - said the sales assistant in the book shop to Mrs Monster. How To Help Your Husband Get Ahead.
- No, thank you - said Mrs Monster. My husband's got two heads already. . .
Why did the monster dye her hair yellow?
→ To see if blondes have more fun.
What's big and ugly and drinks out of the wrong side of the glass?
→ A monster trying to get rid of hiccups.
Did you hear about the monster with five legs?
→ His trousers fit him like a glove.
What's the difference between a monster and a mouse?
→ A monster makes bigger holes in the skirting board.
Where do space monsters live?
→ In far distant terror-tory.
Where do you find monster snails?
→ On the end of monsters fingers.
How do you stop a monster from smelling?
→ Cut off his nose.
What would you get if you crossed a monster with a redcoat?
→ A bigger target.
