Best jokes

What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin?
→ You get light music.

- Do you think, Professor, that my wife should take up the piano as a career?

- No, I think she should put down the lid as a favor.

What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit?
→ Will the defendant please rise.

What's musical and holds gallons and gallons of beer?
→ A barrel organ.

Why did the boy who rode his bike over a barbed wire fence miss his music lesson?
→ Because he'd already done the sharps and flats.

Why did they arrest the musician?
→ He got into treble.

What is musical and handy in the supermarket.
→ A Chopin Lizst.

Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom?
→ Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music.

When is the water in the shower room musical?
→ When it's piping hot.

What do you call a mammoth who conducts an orchestra?
→ Tuskanini.