Best jokes

A man and his alligator walk into a bar and the man asks, "Does this bar serve lawyers?"

"Of course we do," replied the bartender.

"Great," said the man, "I'd like a beer... and give me a lawyer for my gator."

What are the four worst words you could hear during a round of golf?
→ It's still your turn!

Did you hear about the local country club that was determined to be politically correct?

Instead of saying the golfers have handicaps, they say they're stroke-challenged!

A girl from Oklahoma and a girl from Wisconsin were seated side by side on a plane.

The girl from Oklahoma, being friendly and all said, "So, where y'all from?" The Wisconsin girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." The girl from Oklahoma sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, "So, where y'all from, bitch?"

You're so stupid that when police tell you that you broke the speed limit, you offer to fix it.

Yo family is so poor that when I went inside your house I accidentally stepped on a roach and your whole family came out singing, "Clap your hands, stomp your feet, thank the Lord that we got meat!"

- Knock, knock!

- Who's there?

- George Washington!

- George Washington who?

- George Washington who? Didn't you learn anything in history class?

Your dad's like cement, it takes him two days to get hard!

Your family is so poor, when I went to your house I stepped on a cigarette and your Daddy shouted, "Hey, who turned off the heater!"

I saw a garbage truck driving yesterday. You never told me you were moving.