Best jokes

What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
→ A rumor

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.

He approached a uniformed policeman and said:

- I've lost my dad!

The cop asked:

- What's he like?

The little boy replied:

- Beer and women with big tits.

As a man ages, it is natural that his hair starts thinning.

It is a well-known fact that when a man is bald at the front of his head, it's because he's a great thinker.

Also, when a man is bald at the back of his head, it's because he's sexy.

Unfortunately, when a man is bald both front and back, he only thinks he's sexy...

There was a young man from Kent
Whose tool was exceedingly bent
He put it in double
To save himself trouble
Instead of coming he went

When I was growing up I used to lick all the kids on the block except for the Browns...

They were boys.

How can you tell if your date really digs oral sex?
→ She hikes up her skirt every time you yawn.

Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
→ Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.

Two young girls were talking about their sex lives when the first girl says:

- Oh my god!, it was really great, but I was Sooo scared after his rubber broke. I didn't get a good night's sleep for a week.

- What happened. - Says her intrigued friend.

- I didn't know what I was going to do, but I was finally able to get the last little piece of it out with dental floss.

Why is having a wank like eating McDonald's?
→ Because it's always exactly the same and afterwards you... swear you'll never do it again.

In the Sex Ed class the teacher says:

- All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for making sex.

The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back:

- Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?

Johnny says:

- Seventy-three.

The teacher says:

- Oh, my goodness...uh...very good, John, very good...

She calls on Becky in the front and says:

- All right, Becky, how about you?

Becky says:

- Gee, teacher, I only came up with one...where the guy just lays on top of the girl.

Johnny yells:

- Seventy-four.