Best jokes

- Why were you late?

- Sorry, teacher, I overslept.

- You mean you need to sleep at home too!

- Mother: Did you enjoy the school outing, dear?

- Jane: Yes, and we're going again tomorrow.

- Mother: Really? Why's that?

- Jane: To try and find the kids we left behind.

- Ann! - the teacher shouted one day at the girl who had been daydreaming out the window.

- If India has the world's second largest population, oranges are 50 cents for six and it costs $3 for a day return to Austin, how old am I?

- Thirty two!

- Why did you say that?

- Well, my brother's sixteen and he's half mad!

Boy to Friend: I'm sorry, I won't be able to go out after school. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework.

- I'm not going to school today - Alexander said to his mother.

- The teachers bully me and the boys in my class don't like me.

- Why?

- Firstly, you're 35 years old. Secondly, you're the principal.

- Principal: I've called you into my office, Peter, because I want to talk to you about two words I wish you wouldn't use so often. One is "great" and the other is "lousy."

- Peter: Certainly, sir. What are they?

- Teacher: What happened to your homework?

- Pupil: I made it into a paper plane and someone hijacked it.

What's the longest piece of furniture in the school?
→ The multiplication table.

- Teacher: Didn't you know the bell had gone?

- Fred: I didn't take it, Miss.

- Teacher: Why do you want to work in a bank, Alan?

- Fred: Cuz there's money in it, sir.