Best jokes

- What sort of an act do you do?

- I bend over backwards and pick up a handkerchief with my teeth.

- Anything else?

- Then I bend over backwards and pick up my teeth.

- Patient: Tell me honestly, how am I?

- Dentist: Your teeth are fine, but your gums will have to come out.

What's the best thing to put into a pizza?
→ Your teeth.

Why do you forget a tooth, as soon as the dentist pulls it out?
→ Because it goes right out of your head.

Why does a vampire clean his teeth three times a day?
→ To prevent bat breath.

What did one tooth say to the other?
→ Get your cap on, the dentist is taking us out tonight.

What did the Abominable Snowman do after he had had his teeth pulled out?
→ He ate the dentist.

Why didn't the monster use toothpaste?
→ Because he said his teeth weren't loose.

Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?"

After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?"

The teacher announced that to practice spelling, each member of the class would say what their fathers did for a living and then spell the occupation.

Mary went first. "My Dad is a baker, b-a-k-e-r, and if he were here, he would give everyone a cookie."

Next came Tommy. "My dad is a banker, b-a-n-k-e-r, and if he were here, he'd give each of us a quarter."

Third came Jimmy. "My dad is an electrician." But after struggling through a number of attempts to spell the word, the teacher asked him to sit and think about it for a moment while she called on someone else.

She then turned to Johnny. "My dad's a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e," Johnny said. "And if he were here, he'd lay you 8 to 5 that Jimmy ain't never gonna spell electrician."