A man went to the dentist to get his teeth checked.
While he was sitting in the chair being examined, the dentist said to him:
- Have you done oral sex lately?
The man replied:
- Why yes, I did this morning actually. How could you tell? Have you found a pubic hair stuck in my tooth?
The dentist says:
- No, not quite. You've got some shit on the end of your nose!
What do you call a depressed dentist?
→ A little down in the mouth.
A lady goes to the dentist. In the chair, the dentist notices a little brown spot on one of her teeth.
- Aha, cavity! I'll have to drill this one out! - says the dentist.
- Oh no, I'd rather have a child!!! - cries the lady.
- In that case, I will have to adjust the chair first - replies the dentist.
- I have some bad news and some very bad news.
- Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
- The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
- 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?
- I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
- I have some good news and I have some bad news, which shall I tell first?
- Do begin with the bad news, please.
- Alright. Your son has drowned, your daughter has been raped, your wife has divorced you, your house got blown away, and you have AIDS.
- Good grief! What's the good news?
- The good news is that there is no more bad news.
- I have some good news and some bad news, which shall I tell first?
- Uhhh, well, give me the bad news first, I guess.
- You only have one week left to live.
- Oh no! What good news can you possibly tell me now?
- Well, you know that really hot-looking nurse who just came in here? I'm taking her out to dinner tonight, and who knows where the night will end!
This guy goes to the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.
- Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news.
- Well, give me the really bad news first.
- You have cancer, and only 6 months to live.
- And the bad news?
- You have Alzheimer's disease.
- Thank God. I was afraid I had cancer!
This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him:
- I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?
- Well, give me the bad news first.
- You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.
- OH NO! That's awful! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???
- You also have Alzheimer's... In three months you'll forget everything I told you.
What's the best thing about having Alzheimer's Disease?
- We need to get these people to a hospital!
- What is it?
- It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now.
