Women Jokes — most viewed jokes

Men are like mascara.

They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

What's the difference between a brunette and the trash?
→ The trash gets taken out once a week!

Do you know why single women can't fart?
→ Because, they don't get assholes untill they get married.

Several nurses on break in the Boston General cafeteria were discussing boyfriends, past and present. Suddenly, a nurse from New York City said, "Well, I have discovered men are all alike!"

Whereupon, a pert little nurse from Dallas laughed and slapped the table. "Gal," she said, "men are all Ah like, too!"

How does a man know when his wife is losing interest?
→ When her favorite sexual position is "next door"

Why did God create man first?
→ So he wouldn't have to be told how to do it.

This fellow dies and goes to heaven. God offers to answer three questions.

- Guy: Why are girls so pretty?

- God: So you'll like them.

- Guy: Why are girls soft?

- God: So you'll like them.

- Guy: Why are girls so dumb?

- God: So they'll like you.

A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him.
And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."

"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."

"For God's sake, NO!" exclaimed the woman. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward."

If a Blonde and a Brunette jump off a cliff at the same time, which one gets to the ground first?
→ The brunette... the blonde has to stop and ask for directions!

What does a woman do to her asshole in the morning?
→ Sends him to work.