Random joke from this category
Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor.
"Do you wash?" the doctor asked the smelly young girl.
"Oh, yes," Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and I wash up as far as possible."
"Well," the doctor concluded, "Go home and wash 'possible'!!!"
Joan, a rather well-proportioned & near-sighted secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first few days, but always removed her glasses for an even facial tan. After several days she decided that no one could see her way up there, so she slipped out of her suit for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The hotel doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you have for the past week."
"What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight!"
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
→ Made her chain too long.
Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men: a woman.
If women don't fool around, and men do fool around, who are the men fooling around with?
- She: What do you love most, my natural beauty or my body?
- He: Your sense of humor.
In a check out line the other day and the couple were arguing about whose turn it was to pay. The clerk was kind of listening until she heard the lady said to the guy, "Stop being a scrote." With a furrowed brow the clerk asked, "What is a scrote?" Without missing a beat the lady responded, "Short for scrotum. He is somewhere between a prick and an asshole."
Regardless of what you may hear, there's still many women these days who are excellent "housekeepers". Seems each time they get a divorce, they keep the house.
Adam was strolling through the Garden of Eden, and he asked God, "God can you put someone else on this planet with me? It's kind of lonely here?" So God said, "I will put on earth a woman."
"What is this 'woman'?" asked Adam.
"A woman is somebody who will provide companionship and take care of all your needs," explained God.
"Oh holy master, what is the price for this woman?" asked Adam.
"The price for her is your left arm and your right eye," said God.
Then Adam replied, "Ehh... what can I get for a rib?"
Two tampons were crossing the street. They see a friend. Which one waves?
→ Neither, they are both stuck up cunts.
