Random joke from this category
"Miss Jones, we can't employ you as a model," the editor from the men's magazine explained. "It's too obvious that your blonde hair isn't natural, since the hair between your legs is black."
The model picked up a paperweight and slammed it down on the editor's fingers.
"What the hell did you do that for!" he exploded.
She smiled sweetly and said, "Look at your fingers. They're turning black, right? And they've only been banged once."
A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"
She said, "I'd love to be ten again."
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was.
She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.
Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets.
At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"
One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"
A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road.
A woman was driving down the same road. As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the window and yelled, "Pig!" The man immediately leaned out his window and replied, "Bitch!" They continue on their way and as the man rounded the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
25 Things a Wife would say in a "perfect world!"
One of the life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
A young lady walks into a doctors office. "Doctor I'm suffering from a terrible discharge" The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says "how does that feel?" Young lady, "Oooh doctor that feels lovely..... ...but the discharge is from my ear!!"
One of Sigmund Freud's early patients rushed out into an Austrian afternoon on her way to meet her best friend at a coffee house. Over Cappuccino and Viennese pastries, she suddenly burst out crying.
Her friend begged her to share what was wrong.
"Oh, it's just terrible," she wailed. "Today the doctor told me I'm in love with my father, and. . .and. . .and you know, he's a married man!"
The horny midget found that the best way to make time with women was to be direct about it. So he went up to the tallest blondest woman at the party and said, "Hey, honey, whaddaya say to a little fuck?"
She looked down at him and promptly replied, "Hello, you little fuck!"
Bangkok, Thailand
A member of the ruling junta who oversees Thai Airways International has ordered the carrier to hire more-attractive stewardesses.
"We have received a lot of complaints that our air hostesses are not pretty enough, too old and unsmiling," Air Chief Marshal Kaset Rojananil said.
In an interview published in "The Nation", the airline has been hiring too many college-educated women, he said, adding: "Intelligent women tend not to be good looking."
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
"Why do you do that, Mommy?"
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
