Random joke from this category
The young lady admired the watch in the store window every time she walked by it. She finally entered the shop one day and said, "Just how much is that watch?"
"It's $2000, ma'am."
"Hmmm. Well, would you consider time payments for it?"
"Just what sort of 'time schedule' did you have in mind?"
"I was thinking two times a week for the next two months."
God made a man and then rested. God made a woman and then no one rested
What's a Jewish American Princess' favorite position?
→ Facing Bloomingdales
An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor's office.
"We have come for an examination," said the young girl.
"Alright," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off."
"No, not me," said the girl. "it's my old aunt here."
"Very well," said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue."
There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins. It's Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, "I'm not going to die a virgin... I'm going out and I'm not coming home 'til I've been laid!!"
Betty says, "Well, make sure you're home by 10 so I don't worry about you."
10 o'clock rolls around and there's no sign of Gladys... 11 o'clock... 12 o'clock... Finally about 15 after 1 the front door flies open. In runs Gladys... straight to the bathroom.
Betty goes and knocks on the door, "Are you okay, Gladys??" No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck between her legs looking at herself.
"What is it, Gladys??? What's wrong?" asks Betty.
"Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in... and 5 when it came out. When I find the other half you're gonna have the time of your life!!!"
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
→ Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
Who makes all the bras for brunettes?
→ Fisher-Price
The doctor said to the housewife, "I've got good news and I've got bad news.
"The good news is you don't have PMS.
"The bad news is - you're a bitch!"
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
→ You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Woman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, "Come this way," and heads towards the back of the store.
"If I could come that way," she tells the retreating clerk, "I wouldn't need the batteries."
