Women Jokes — most viewed jokes

"What kind of job do you do?" a lady passenger asked the man traveling in her compartment.

"I'm a naval surgeon," he replied.

"Goodness!" said the lady, "How you doctors specialize these days!"

Whats the difference between a 90s woman and a computer?
→ A 90s woman won't accept a three-and-a-half-inch floppy.

For sale by Owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or the best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows fucking everything!

A job negotiator and a feminist were in dispute... The feminist was arguing over the different pay scales that her women were receiving...

- Fem: Okay, why are women paid less than men for doing the same job that a man does.

- Neg: It says in the Bible that women are worth less than men.

- Fem: Where does it say that? I don't think so.

- Neg: Well, you do agree that woman was made from a rib, correct?

- Fem: Yeah, so?

- Neg: Well, there you have it. A rib is a cheaper cut of meat!

Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex?

A woman is laying on a gurney out in the hall prior to going to surgery. As she lays there, a man in a white coat comes by, lifts up the sheet, and then leaves.

This happens a second time.

The third time this happens, she says, "Doctor, am I going into surgery soon?"

The man replies, "Don't ask me lady. I'm just a painter!"

- Police Officer: Why were you speeding?

- Women Driver: I was late for traffic school.

- Marriage counselor: Maybe your problem is that you've been waking up grumpy every morning.

- Client: No, I always let him sleep.

Did you here about the pharmaceutical company?

They developed a new drug that, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent and become a nun.

The FDA refused to license it, though. Seems it was habit-forming.

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole!" she screamed.

"That's funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her too!"