Travel Jokes — most viewed jokes

Who said "Shiver me timbers!" on the ghost ship?
→ The skeleton crew.

Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one.

The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."

"Why not?"

"I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."

It was so hot when we went on holiday last year that we had to take turns sitting in each other's shadow.

What is brown and gray, has eight legs, and is carrying a large trunk and a small trunk?
→ A Chihuahua on vacation with an elephant.

- Policeman: Didn't you hear me whistle at you?

- Woman Driver: Sure, but I don't flirt when I drive.

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions: "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"

The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off.

Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.

The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus and that was three hours ago! Why are you still waiting?"

The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now...

The 45th bus just went by!"

When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train?
→ When it's on the train.

Where is the most open green space in New York City?
→ Central Pork

Why is a blonde like Australia?
→ They're both down under, and no one cares.

A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the man's supper and began whining and jumping up at him. "Do you mind if I throw him a bit?" said the man to the lady.

"Not at all," she replied, whereupon the man picked the dog up and threw it over a wall.