Stats/Math Jokes — most viewed jokes

In a recent contest in The Washington Post, readers were asked to take an expression using a number, add or subtract one, and create a new definition:

• The Year 2001 Problem: How to find jobs for all those programmers hired to solve the Year 2000 problem.
• Catch-23: Complete the previous catch before proceeding to this step.
• Fortune 501: Levi Strauss makes the list, but just by the seat of its pants.
• Motel 5: If you're not there by midnight, they turn off the light.
• Dressed to the Eights: Impeccably attired with white socks.
• Six Brides for Seven Brothers: Someone's gonna get hurt !
• Snow White and the Eight Dwarfs: The title, before they expelled Gassy.
• Five Eyes: Other kids can be so cruel when you are Siamese twins, and one of you is wearing a monocle.
• 665: The mark on the forehead of Satan's slightly less evil brother, Ralph.

A survey of home burglars' work preferences published in Whittle Communications' Special Report magazine revealed that 32 percent like to browse through family photographs while on the job, 27 percent like to raid the refrigerator, and 7 percent watch TV.

Seventy percent of the 191 imprisoned burglars reported they like to limit their jobs to a 20-minute maximum, 17 percent wondered what their victims were like, and 59 percent said a dog in the home was the most effective burglary deterrent.

How many seconds are in a year?
→ There are 12 seconds in a year. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...

A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to Little Johnny. So she said, "If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?"

"Somebody else's pants." said the Little Johnny.

Why are women so bad at mathematics?
→ Because men keep telling them that this |<---------------------->| is 12 inches.

Why are women so bad at mathematics?
→ Because men keep telling them that this...|<---------------------->| is 12 inches.

Why is 6 scared of 7?
→ Because 7 ate nine! (7, 8, 9)

Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left.

Professors of mathematics prove the existence of at least one elephant and leave the capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for one of their graduate students.

What's the speed limit of sex?
→ 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

What person adds best in hot weather?
→ A summer.