Random joke from this category
"Darling," she whispered after they had finished making love, "Will you still make love like that to me after we're married?"
He considered this for a moment, and then replied, "I think so. I've always been especially fond of married women."
This girl wanted to marry a ghost. I can't think what possessed her.
The man came home to find evidence that his wife had been unfaithful.
"Was it my friend Steve?" he yelled.
"No," she said.
"Was it my friend James?" he then asked.
"What?" she shouted. "Don't you think I have any friends of my own?"
What do men have difficulty retaining?
a) a job
b) a budget
c) a promise
d) a secret
e) a friendship
f) a marriage
g) an anniversary date
h) a 30-minute erection
i) all of the above
What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
→ 45 lbs.
What is the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
→ 45 minutes.
What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
→ Sexual harassment.
What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
→ $ 3.99 a minute.
After careful consideration and endless debate The Perfect Man has finally been named!
He's tan!
He's cute!
He knows the importance of accessorizing!
And if he looks at another girl, you can rearrange his face!
INTRODUCING...
MR. POTATO HEAD!
( Good with sour cream and butter too! :)
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at a country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!
"Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"
"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."
A man has to leave the country on business and he entrusts with his best friend the job of keeping an eye on his wife. If anything out of the ordinary should occur, he was to be notified immediately.
After about a week of no news the business man received a telegram: "The man who comes to visit your wife every night didn't show up yesterday..."
Men are like vacuum cleaners.
They're not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.
Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?
