Practical Jokes — most viewed jokes

If you're feeling a bit stressed, try these to deal with it...

• Dance naked in front of your pets.
• Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send them off to school as if nothing is wrong. (NOTE: this also works well with the hubby who stayed at the pub too long.)
• Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at once. (Always have a witness on hand, just in case you attempt the Guiness World Record)
• Tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead.
• Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
• Find out what a frog in a blender "really" looks like. (Hamster in the microwave works well too.)
• Sit naked on a shelled hard boiled egg. ("Don't knock it until you try it!")
• Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
• Make up a language and ask people for directions. (Works great at 7-11's!)
• Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and place it back in the wrapper. (KIDS: make sure you make a nice note titled - For Daddy, I love you.)

NOTES and DISCLAIMERS:

If you are less than 18 years of age: always seek your parent's aproval before attempting any of the above. (Exemption: If the hamster bites you again, nuke him till he glows!)

If you are 18 years of age or older and even think about doing any of these: proceed to the nearest telephone book directory. Look up "clinical psychologist"... drive directly to the first one that accepts "walk-ins!"

Have some fun on your next shopping trip, try these...

• Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like, "Pick Me!! Pick Me!!"
• Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme to "Mission Impossible".
• When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO, NO! It's those voices again!"
• Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
• Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
• Look right into the security cameras, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
• When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
• Set up a tent in the Camping Department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bed and Bath aisle.
• Re-dress mannequins as you see fit.
• Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares."
• Make a trail of orange juice on the ground leading to the restrooms.
• Try bras on over your clothes. (works very well if you're a man)
• Run up to an employee, (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and yell at him, "I need tampons!"
• Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they are not looking.

Walking down the street, a man passes a house and notices a little boy trying to reach the doorbell. No matter how much the little guy stretches, he can't make it.

The man calls out, "Let me get that for you," and he bounds onto the porch to ring the bell.

"Thanks, mister," says the kid. "Now let's run!"