Political Jokes — most viewed jokes

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. - H. L. Mencken
Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties. - George Clooney
Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material. - Dave Letterman
Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. - P. J. ORourke
Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. - Ronald Reagan

Well, I was interviewing Hillary Clinton the other day, and we came to the subject of her and Bill's sex life. I asked her "Hillary, is your sex life with Bill anything like what he had with Monica?", and she said "Well, close but no cigar."

Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans.

- Bill: Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy.

- Hillary: Well, why don't you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy.

- Al: Why don't you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy.

- Tipper: Why don't we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy.

If all the nations in the world are in the debt, where did all the money go?

Why did bill quit playing the saxophone?
→ To play his WhoreMonica

Consider one of the most perplexing questions of our time: Where do solutions go when a candidate gets elected?

Bill, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton are on Air Force One.

Bill says to Hillary, "I could make a lot of people very happy if I threw 1 million $1 bills out of this plane."

Hillary says, "Oh yeah, well I could make even more people happy if I threw 1 million $5 bills out of this plane."

Chelsea says, "I could make the whole world happy if I threw you both out of this plane!"

How do you know when a liberal is really dead?
→ His heart stops bleeding.

Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton and Nelson Mandela are in an airplane with 20 kids. The airplane gets a failure and is doomed to crash. The plane has only 20 parachutes. Nelson Mandela, as a great humanitarian says that children should have them. Bill Clinton gets panicky and shouts, "SCREW THE CHILDREN!!"
Michael Jackson's face lights up and he shouts, "YES, YES!! But do we have enough time?"

What's the difference between greeting royalty and greeting President Clinton?
→ You only go down on one knee to greet royalty!