Random joke from this category
A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs. It takes all the strength he has left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs. He sees the cookies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As he reaches for one, his wife's wrinkled hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells:
"No, you can't have those! They're for the funeral!"
I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"
A clerk was showing a lady a very nice dress shirt and tie.
"Now this," the clerk said, "is absolutely elegant. It is perfect for a man-about-town."
"Could be," the woman replied, "but I'm looking more for something for a louse-around-the-house."
- Husband: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
- Wife: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child?
→ Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
