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A Hoosier, a Kentuckian and a West Virginian were on a Hollywood TV quiz show. The host asked them to complete the sentence: "Old MacDonald had a ..."

The Indianan said, "Old MacDonald had a carburetor."
"Sorry," said the MC. "That's incorrect."
"Old MacDonald had a flat tire," said the Kentuckian.
"Wrong," said the host.
"Old MacDonald had a farm," said the West Virginian.
"That's correct!" shouted the MC. "Now for $200,000, spell farm."

The West Virginian thought hard and then spelled carefully:

"E-I-E-I-O."

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New Official Politically Correct Terms for the 90's

OLD -- NEW

  • conservative -- reactionary
  • the establishment -- white power elite
  • hearing person -- temporarily aurally abled
  • sighted person -- temporarily visually abled
  • blind -- visually challenged
  • mute -- vocally challenged
  • deaf -- aurally challenged
  • dead -- metabolically different
  • alive -- temporarily metabolically abled
  • ugly -- aesthetically challenged
  • fat -- gravitationally challenged
  • heavy-set -- people of mass
  • rude -- politically correct
  • psychopath -- socially misaligned
  • crooked -- ethically challenged
  • klutzy -- kinesthetically challenged
  • bald -- follicularly challenged
  • short -- differently statured
  • non-white, non-male oppressed -- white melanin impoverished / genetically oppressive
  • white male -- oppressor
  • black -- african-american
  • asian -- asian-american
  • afro-american -- african-american
  • minority group -- numerically challenged group; under-represented population
  • black -- person of color
  • Chicano -- person of color
  • weird green freak -- person of color
  • female -- person of gender
  • drooling drunk idiot -- person on floor
  • group of blacks -- Under-Represented population of persons of color
  • Group of Whites -- L.A.P.D.
  • woman -- womyn
  • women -- wymin
  • girl -- pre-womyn
  • man -- oppressor
  • boy -- oppressor-to-be
  • pregnancy -- parasitic oppression
  • janitor -- sanitation engineer
  • disabled car -- mechanically challenged car
  • dish washer -- utensil sanitizer
  • dairy -- where cows are raped
  • ranch -- where cattle are murdered
  • egg ranch -- where hens are raped
  • biology department -- where animals are tortured and then murdered to fulfill the sadistic fantasies of white male scientist lackeys of the imperialist drug companies
  • fishing -- raping the oceans
  • farming -- exploiting mother earth
  • nhl hockey -- uniformed fascists vying for superiority
  • paper bag -- processed tree carcass

Many of the labels from the 80's are now passe. Here is a partial list of the denotations that are now acceptable (all labels are subject to change without notice).

old 80's/90's

  • deaf/hearing impaired/aurally challenged
  • blind /sight impaired/visually challenged
  • retarded/mentally handicapped/mentally challenged
  • queer/gay/homosexual/queer (strange but true)
  • fat/big boned/alternative body image
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