Language Jokes — most viewed jokes

Who invented the telephone?
→ The Phoenicians (phone-itions).

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Chile

- Chile who?

- Chile out tonight!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Cheese

- Cheese who?

- Cheese a jolly good fellow!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Cass

- Cass who?

- Cass more flies with honey than vinegar!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Canon

- Canon who?

- Canon open the door then?

Benign
→ What you be after you be eight.

Artery
→ The study of paintings.

Bacteria
→ Back door to cafeteria.

Barium
→ What doctors do when patients die.

Cesarean Section
→ A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan
→ Searching for kitty.

Cauterize
→ Made eye contact with her.

Colic
→ A sheep dog.

Coma
→ A punctuation mark.

D & C
→ Where Washington is.

Dilate
→ To live long.

Enema
→ Not a friend.

Fester
→ Quicker than someone else.

Fibula
→ A small lie.

Genital
→ Non-Jewish person.

G.I. Series
→ World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail
→ What you hang your coat on.

Impotent
→ Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain
→ Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff
→ A Doctor's cane.

Morbid
→ A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates
→ Cheaper than day rates.

Node
→ Was aware of

Outpatient
→ A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear
→ A fatherhood test.

Pelvis
→ Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative
→ A letter carrier.

Recovery Room
→ Place to do upholstery.

Rectum
→ Darn near killed him.

Secretion
→ Hiding something.

Seizure
→ Roman emperor.

Tablet
→ A small table.

Terminal Illness
→ Getting sick at the Bus Station

Tumor
→ More than one.

Urine
→ Opposite of you're out.

Varicose
→ Near by/close by.

Vein
→ Conceited.

A stitch in time saves nine. Nine what?

Are there any unguided missiles?

Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?

How can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

Do fat people go skinny-dipping or do they call it fat-dipping?

Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?

Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Do blind dogs have seeing-eye humans?

Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?

Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?

When they asked George Washington for his ID, did he just whip out a quarter?

Does a man-eating shark eat women, too?

Does that screwdriver really belong to Phillip?

How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Anthony

- Anthony who?

- Anthony you want!

A White man explaining to a Mexican man says that there are three words the Mexican needs to know in order to be all right in the city: The White man says these words are: green, pink, and yellow. Then the White man says "Now tell me a sentence using all three words." The Mexican says "I hear de telephona ah greena greena, I pink up de phona and say ah yellow?"

The Worst Striker by Mr Goal