Language Jokes — most viewed jokes

How many letters are there in the alphabet?

Noel, noel, noel, noel ... the angels did say...

E.T. went home.

Get rid of X. There's too many unknowns in the world already!(Only one vowel left, or is that "Anly ana vawal laft" This may be stretching it a bit, but not unless you consider, as our good friends in Canada say: Good day, A!

And we all know that M&Ms melt in your mouth, so it's safe to count them out.

And of course, Y not.

We might as well put off using U until later in the year: See U in SeptemberTWA just took off!!

How many letters are there in the alphabet?
→ Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.

A string walks into a bar and ask the waiter for a beer. The waiter says, "I am sorry but we can't serve strings here."

The string goes home, ties himself in a knot, and messes up his hair. He goes back to the bar about an hour later, sits down and says, "Waiter, give me a beer." The waiter says, "Hey aren't you the string who came in here earlier."

The string replies, "No, I'm a fraid knot."

Did you hear about the guy born with two left feet?
→ He went out one day to buy some Flip Flips...

Spanish singer Julio Iglesias was on television with British TV host Anne Diamond when he used the word 'manyana'. Diamond asked him to explain what it meant. He said that the term means "maybe the job will be done to-morrow, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that. Perhaps next week, next month, next year. Who cares?" The host turned to Irishman Shay Brennan who was also on the show and asked him if there was an equivalent term in Irish. "No. In Ireland we don't have a word to describe that degree of urgency.", replied Brennan.

If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside????
→ K9P.

What is the last thing each Tickle Me Elmo doll receives before he leaves the factory?
→ Two Test Tickles

Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip, when the came upon this great trout brook. They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super.

At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon, they vowed that they would meet, in twenty years, at the same place and renew the experience.

Twenty years later, they met and traveled to a spot near where they had been years before. They walked into the woods and before long came upon a brook. One of the men said to the other, "This is the place!"

The other replied, "No, it's not!"

The first man said, "Yes, I do recognize the clover growing on the bank on the other side."

To which the other man replied, "Silly, you can't tell a brook by it's clover."

How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive"?

- Olive ?

- Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"

Ever wonder about people who pay $2 for a bottle of Evian water?
→ Just spell "Evian" backwards!