Language Jokes — most viewed jokes

The World of Vegetables by Artie Choak

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Cook

- Cook who?

- Cuckoo yourself, I don't come here to be insulted!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Badger

- Badger who?

- Badger cookies!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Cyprus

- Cyprus who?

- Cyprus the bell!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Brook

- Brook who?

- Brook-lyn bridge!

A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes.

"How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.

"Well they feel a bit tight," replies the man.

The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the man's feet.

"Try pulling the tongue out," the clerk says.

"Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth."

Whodunnit? by Ivor Clew

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Ida

- Ida who?

- Ida know.

The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.

"Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the instructor.

"P-u-t-t is correct," he replied.

"Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."

"Mah son's real smart!" crowed the redneck mother to an acquaintance. "He's only six but he can already spell his name backwards and forwards!"

"What's his name?" asked the friend.

"Bob."