Ethnic — most viewed jokes

What happened to the Polish National Library?
→ Someone stole the book.

• Dung On MAI Shu - I stepped in excrement
• Ai Wan Tu Bang Yu - Let's sleep together
• Ai Bang Mai Ne - I bumped into the coffee table
• Fat Ho - An unattractive woman
• Ar U Wun Tu - A gay liberation greeting
• Chin Tu Fat - You need a face lift
• Chow Mai Dong - Romantic proposition
• Dum Gai - A stupid person
• Wel Hung Gai - Is that a banana in your pocket?
• Won Hung Low - Southern Chinese dialect for Wel Hung Gai
• Gun Pao Der - An ancient Chinese invention
• Hu Flung Dung - Which one of you fertilized the field?
• Hu Yu Hai Ding - We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugutive
• Jan Ne Ka Sun - A former late night talk show host
• Kum Hia - Approach me
• Lao Ze Sho - Gilligan's Island
• Lao Zi - Not very good
• Lin Ching - An illegal execution
• Moon Lan Ding - A great achievement of the American space program
• Ne Ahn - A lighting fixture used in advertising signs
• Shai Gai - A bashful person
• Tai Ne Bae Be - A premature infant
• Tai Ne Po Ne - A small horse
• Ten Ding Ba - Serving drinks to people
• Wan Bum Lung - A person with T.B.
• Yu Mai Te Tan - Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you
• Wa Shing Kah - Cleaning an automobile
• Wai So Dim - Are you trying to save electricity?
• Wai U Shao Ting - There is no reason to raise your voice

There were three guys, a Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander. They were all going to be executed.

The executioner said that since all three were to be executed that night that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die. The choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging.

The American was afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged so he chose the electric chair. He sat in the chair and when they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happened a second time that he could go free. They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free.

The Torontonian was also afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair. Once again, the chair didn't work and he was free.

Next it was the Newfies turn. He said, "I'm afraid of needles and the electric chair won't work so I pick hanging."

What do you call a blind German?
→ A Not See (Nazi)

On the sixth day God turned to the angel Gabriel and said "Today I am going to create a land called Canada.

It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty - it shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, and beautiful sparkly lakes bountiful with carp and trout. There shall be forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs overlooking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon."

God continued, "I shall make the land rich in oil so to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth."

"But Lord," asked Gabriel, "don't you think you are being too generous to these Canadians?"

"No, not really." God replied...

"Just wait and see the neighbours I am going to give them!"

While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member of the congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi, horrified, asked the Cantor to continue the service and went to talk to Bernie.

- Rabbi: What are doing here with a dog?

- Bernie: The dog came here to pray.

- Oh, come on, says the Rabbi.

- YES! says Bernie.

- Rabbi: I don't believe you. You are just fooling around; that's not a proper thing to do in temple.

- Bernie: Its true!..

- Ok, says the Rabbi, then show me what the dog can do.

- OK, says Bernie nodding to the dog...

The dog proceeds to open up the barrel under his neck and removes a yarmulke, a tallis (puts them on his head) and prayer book and actually starts saying prayers in Hebrew! The Rabbi is so shocked he listens for a full 15 minutes.
When the Rabbi regains his composure, he is so impressed with the quality of the praying he says to Bernie. "Do you think your dog would consider going to Rabbinical school????"
Bernie, throwing up his hands in disgust says, "YOU TALK TO HIM! He wants to be a doctor!"

One day at kindergarten a teacher said to the class of 5-year olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick."

The teacher said, "Sorry Sean, that's not correct."

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew."

The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either."

Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."

The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Marvin, come up here and I'll give you the $2."

As the teacher was giving Marvin his money, she said, "You know Marvin, since you're Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."

Marvin replied, "Yeah. In my heart I knew it was Moses, but business is business!"

What did the Egyptian man say to the Egyptian woman?
→ "Come behind the pyramid, and I'll make you a mummy!"

Very Short Books...

1. Outdoor activities in Chernobyl
2. Hot Scenic Real-estate opportunities on top of Mt St. Helens
3. Investment opportunities in worm futures for the deceased
4. Ballerina lessons for men with size 13 or larger feet
5. Defensive Driving tips for the Blind
6. Contraceptive tips for Nuns
7. Delicious Beef Recipes for Hindus
8. Mutual Fund Investment strategies for compulsive gamblers
9. Cooking with Pork Fat for Vegetarians
10. GreenPeace Guide for Buying Quality Baby Seal coats
11. GreenPeace Guide to Preparing Fast & Easy Whale Dishes
12. Jewish and Arab Friendship Customs
13. Human Rights organizations in Libya
14. Democracy Debate clubs in Cuba
15. Applying for Tibetan Vendors Permits
16. Applying for Flight Clearance over The White House
17. Guide to Redneck Gay Bars
18. Guide to NeoNazis Jewish Friendship Centers
19. Famous Native American Judges, Senators and Presidents
20. Famous Black Canadian Hockey Players
21. Famous Hillbilly Physics
22. Guide to apply for Pan Handling Permit in Singapore
23. Street guide to most original graffiti in Singapore
24. Country Singers who have appeared at Carnegie Hall
25. Sports Illustrated's Gay Mens Swimsuit Edition
26. How to start you own part time Hospital from home
27. Guide to Gay NBA, NFL, AFL & NHL Teams
28. E-mail address directory for the homeless
29. All Night Libyan Moshe pits
30. List of Fine Wines from Iran

A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go at it.

When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat the performance.

The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and starts again.

The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times. During the fifth encore, she decides to try it herself.

So when they are done she jumps up, goes to the window and takes a deep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed...and finds four Chinese men.