Random joke from this category
A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the Maitre'd that there will be at least a twenty minute wait.
"Would you like to wait in the bar, Sir?", he says.
The man goes into the bar and the bartender says, "What'll it be?"
The man replies, "Give me a Stoli with a twist."
The bartender pauses for a few seconds, then smiles and says, "Once upon time, there were FOUR little peegs . . . "
How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home?
→ They put parking meters on the roof!
What is the title of the new Vietnamamese cookbook?
→ 100 way to wok your dog.
Did you hear about the Polish Admiral who wanted to be buried at sea when he died?
Five sailors died digging his grave.
There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs of a lonely beach, with a rope going down into the surf and a Chinaman frantically trying to climb up.
While they were sitting there a Priest walks along, looks over and says, "God bless you children, that's Christianity at work. May the lord bless you both," and then kept on walking.
One bloke looks at the other, "Who the fuck was that?" "Oh," said the other bloke, "that's Father Johnston. He knows all there is about the bible."
The other bloke looked around and quickly says, "Well he knows fuck all about shark fishing."
What do Arabs do on saturday night?
→ They sit under palm trees and eat their dates.
A boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play. "What part?" the mother asked.
"I play a Jewish husband," the boy replied. "Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!"
A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder... the bartender looks up and says, "Where the hell did you get that thing?"
The Parrot replies, "Over in Africa, there's millions of them!!!"
Two Polish guys are discussing one's upcoming wedding... "I'm not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not."
His buddy replies, "Oh, there's an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, if she laughs and says 'Those are the funniest balls I've ever seen!' you hit her with the shovel!"
A Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonade on the street corner for 15 cents a glass. He figures he'll spend about 3 bucks on the ingredients, the kids will sell maybe 10 glasses and then drink the rest and get stomach aches. His eventual response: "Go stand on the corner for two hours and come back, I'll give you two dollars. Everybody wins."
