Dumb Jokes — most viewed jokes

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told the blonde to stand in the circle and not move. He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats.

When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, "Oh, you think that's funny? Watch this." He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires. Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire.

He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.

"What's so funny?" The truck driver asked the blonde.

She replied, "When you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle 4 times."

A technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into his typewriter to type the labels.

Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder.
"I have an idea," said Mike. "We'll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder."

"What, do you think I'm stupid? I have an idea. I'll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light."

"What, do you think I'm stupid? You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway there."

Did you hear about the blonde who took a book out of the library called "How to Hug", only to discover that it was volume seven of the encyclopedia?

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune.. ..the Wal-Mart manager runs out and unplugs the horse.

A customer needed help setting up a new program, so the technician suggested he go to the local Egghead.
"Yeah, I got me a couple of friends," the man said. When told Egghead was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."

What did the blonde do when he heard that 90% of accidents occur within five miles of home?
→ He moved ten miles away.

What did the blonde say when she saw the YMCA sign??
→ LOOK!!! They spelled MACY's wrong!!!!

Did you hear about the blonde man that locked his keys in his car?
→ Took him an hour to get his family out w/ a coat hanger.

A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding.

- Officer: May I see your licence?

- Lady: What does it look like?

- Officer: It's a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it.

The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer. The officer opens it up and says 'If you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over.'