Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers once a month?
→ Because it says right on the box "good for up to 20 pounds."

How do you drownd a blonde???
→ You place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

A dumb blonde is walking along, lost, and encounters a deep and wide river. She looks up and down the river for a way across but is unsuccessful in finding one. Yet, when looking to the other side again, she happened to see another blonde on the opposite river bank. She tried calling to her.

"How can I get to the other side of the river?" she shouts loudly.

The other blonde replied "What for? You are already on the other side of the river!"

Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?
→ It takes too long to retrain them.

How do you change a blonde's mind?
→ Blow in her ear.

Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator. The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says: "OOOOOhhh that looks like semen." She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers and says "It feels like semen."

The redhead reaches out and touches it with her fingers, smells it, and says "It smells like semen." The blonde, reaches out and touches it with her fingers and then puts her fingers in her mouth and tastes it and says, "It doesn't taste like anyone in this building . . ."

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something.

"Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."

A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.

- Cop: Do you know where you were going?

- Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the cars were leaving.

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:

- Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.

- Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?

- Blonde: Yes.

- Operator: The power in the house in on?

- Blonde: Of course.

- Operator: And the switch is on?

- Blonde: Yes, yes.

- Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?

- Blonde: No, it's working fine.

- Operator: Then what's the problem?

- Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves.