Most viewed jokes

What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?
→ The first couple of times you cough, its not your phlegm...

In the Sex Ed class the teacher says, "All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for making sex."

The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, "Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?"

Johnny says, "Seventy-three."

The teacher says, "Oh, my goodness...uh...very good, John, very good..."

She calls on Becky in the front and says, "All right, Becky, how about you?"

Becky says, "Gee, teacher, I only came up with one...where the guy just lays on top of the girl."

Johnny yells, "Seventy-four."

How do fireflies start a race?
→ Ready steady glow!

Why is having a wank like eating McDonald's?
→ Because it's always exactly the same and afterwards you... swear you'll never do it again.

Two young girls were talking about their sex lives when the first girl says, "Oh my god!, it was really great, but I was Sooo scared after his rubber broke. I didn't get a good night's sleep for a week."

"What happened." Says her intrigued friend.

"I didn't know what I was going to do, but I was finally able to get the last little piece of it out with dental floss."

What would you call a virgin on a water bed?
→ A cherry float!

A double whammy:

Why do elephants paint thier testicles red?
→ So they can hide in cherry trees.

What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
→ A Monkey eating cherries.

Top Ten Subtle Differences Between College And Hell

10. It doesn't snow in Hell.
11. Everyone has heard of Hell.
12. It's more fun getting into Hell.
13. You can't fail out of Hell.
14. At least you can sleep in Hell.
15. Hell is forever, college just seems like it.
16. People smile in Hell.
17. You only have to sell your soul to get into Hell.
18. You know there are hot men in Hell.
19. You wouldn't tell a friend to go to college.

How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive"?

- Olive ?

- Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"

Why do only 10% of men go to heaven?
→ Because if they all went it would be hell!