Women Jokes — most commented jokes

If you can't go down on them, you're not a good partner.

If you can go down on them, they are jeolous that someone taught you how.

If they pay for dinner, you are using them.

If you pay for dinner, you are trying to embarrass them.

If you make less money than them, you have to do all of the housework.

If you make more money than them, you are a ball-breaker and still have to do all of the housework.

If they want sex, they won't let you sleep.

If you want sex, they won't wake up.

If you choose an article of clothing that they don't like, you don't care about their taste. If you ask them for help in choosing an article of clothing they do like, they tell you to dress however you want.

If you are polite and friendly to their friends, they want to know why you are coming on to their friends.

If you are distant and reserved to their friends, they want to know why you don't like their friends.

Why don't women have any brains?
→ Because they don't have any testicles to put them in.

How does an older woman keep her youth?
→ By giving him money!

Why is it good that we now have female astronauts?
→ When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions.

What does a woman have to do to keep a man interested?
→ Wear perfume that smells like beer.

When a woman gets married, she wants the 3 S's: sensitivity, sincerity, and sharing. What does she get?
→ The 3 B's: burps, body odor, and beer breath.

What did God say after he created man?
→ "I can do better than this" and he made woman.

But the disruptions created in Adam's internals when God removed his rib were so great that it caused Adam's brain to sink down into his testicles.

And so one of Eve's first assignments was to explain to Adam the difference between his black and navy blue socks.

Why do so many women fake orgasm?
→ Because so many men fake foreplay.

Why are women so bad at mathematics?
→ Because men keep telling them that this...|<---------------------->| is 12 inches.

What do men and women have in common?
→ They both distrust men.