Women Jokes — most commented jokes

There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"

John looked up to see his mother-in-law walking toward the front door carrying a broom. "Tell me," he said to her, "are you going to clean house with it or fly away on it?"

How many male chauvinistic pigs does it take to change a light bulb?
→ None. Let the bitch do it by herself. or None. Let the bitch cook in the dark.

A job negotiator and a feminist were in dispute... The feminist was arguing over the different pay scales that her women were receiving...

- Fem: Okay, why are women paid less than men for doing the same job that a man does.

- Neg: It says in the Bible that women are worth less than men.

- Fem: Where does it say that? I don't think so.

- Neg: Well, you do agree that woman was made from a rib, correct?

- Fem: Yeah, so?

- Neg: Well, there you have it. A rib is a cheaper cut of meat!

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
→ Nobody knows. It has never happened.

Why don't men often show their true feelings?
→ Because they don't have feelings.

How do you get a man to leave when you want?
→ Ask him about his feelings.

What's the easiest way for a wife to cause hearing loss in her husband?
→ Say she wants to talk to him.

A wife was having coffee with a girlfriend of hers when she confided to her, "Our marriage has never been that great, but this year has been the absolute worst between my husband and I. Harry often yells at me, criticizes me, puts me down, plus he never helps out with anything around the house, and I keep getting the feeling that he's screwing his secretary. I can't eat, I can't sleep...in fact, I've already lost eight pounds this month alone!"

"Well, why don't you dump the bastard?!?" her friend said.

To which the wife replied, "Oh, I plan to do that, but first I want to get my weight down to 115 pounds."

A man and woman were lying in bed on night and the woman said to the man, "I sure wish I had bigger tits."

The man responded by saying she should rub toilet paper all over them.

The woman looked at him and asked, "Toilet paper, what will that do?"

The man said, "I don't know, but look what it's done for your ass!"