Sport Jokes — most commented jokes

Sven and Olie died and went to Hell. After awhile, the Devil came by to see how his new guests were doing. To his amazement, he found Sven and Olie were still wearing their winter gear and seemed to be quite comfortable. The Devil asked why they weren't hot.

Olie replied, "We come from Minnesota where it's always cold. This is feeling pretty good to us." This upset the Devil, so he turned up the thermostat. Awhile later the Devil looked in again on Sven and Olie. To his surprise he found they were still wearing their winter gear. The Devil questioned them on it again. "You have to remember that we are from Minnesota and it's very, very cold there. This is feeling nice to us."

The Devil was even madder at this, so he turned the thermostat all the way up to maximum temperature. The Devil waited some time and then went back to Sven and Olie. This time he found they had only unzipped their coats, but still had all their winter clothes on. The Devil couldn't understand what was going on. The punishment down here was supposed to be the unbearable heat. It wasn't working on these two. He had to ask again what the deal was. Sven replied, "We are Minnesotans and we just got over a freezing winter. This is really great for Olie and Me."

A light flickered in the Devil's mind. He went to the thermostat and turned it off. He thought if the heat wasn't a punishment, maybe he'd give them some freezing temperatures. A little while later the Devil came back to check in on Sven and Olie only to find them cheering and giving each other high fives, happier than ever! The Devil questioned them on their actions and Sven said happily, "Back home they always said, the Vikings will win the Super Bowl when Hell freezes over!!!"

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
→ Mistle toe, of course!

What does a nymphomaniac say after she's had sex?
→ Do all you guys play for the same team?

Why doesn't Mexico have an olympic team?
→ Cause all of their runners, swimmers, and jumpers are in the United States.

A blonde, brunette and a redhead were all in a swimming race. They were supposed to swim the English Channel.

A group of spectators anxiously awaited the three women at the finish line. The brunette came in first, then the redhead a little later. They waited hours for the blonde to show up. When she finally did, they asked her what had taken her so long.

The blonde was very upset as she screamed, "This was supposed to be a breast stroke race, and those girls were using their arms!!!"

And then there was the boxing referee who used to work for NASA; everytime a fighter would go down, he'd start counting "10, 9, 8...."

A lady went skiing and halfway down the hill had to go to the bathroom. No facilities nearby, she decided to find a sheltered area, dropped her pants and proceeded to relieve herself.

Suddenly she found herself beginning to slide backwards. Out into the open and down the slope with her pants around her knees. She crashed and broke her leg.

The paramedics rushed her to the local hospital. Her doctor walked into her room laughing his head off. He said, "You're not going to believe this, but the guy in the next room claims he fell off the ski lift and broke his leg because he saw a naked lady skiing backwards down the mountain!

"So, how did you break YOUR leg??"

What do the Pope and the Rams both appearing in the St. Louis Trans World Dome have in common?
→ They both feature 3 million people saying 'Jesus Christ!'

Why do the Vikings play in a Dome?
→ Because even God can't stand to watch!

You're in a room with no doors and no windows, and all you have is a baseball bat. How do you get out?
→ Strike 1! Strike 2! Strike 3! You're out!