Sex Jokes — most commented jokes

What does it mean when two lesbians make love?
→ It doesn't mean dick.

What's the difference between a white gerbil and a brown gerbil?
→ The white one got away.

A straight guy and a gay are in the men's room and the straight guy has his shirt unbuttoned exposing a heavy coat of chest hair. The gay asked how he came to have so much hair on his chest. He said, "I put Vaseline on it every night." That night the gay put Vaseline on his chest and went to bed. His partner George said, "What in the hell is that?" "It's to grow hair." he replied. "Bull shit!" said George. "If Vaseline grew hair...

I'd have tail a mile long!

These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for nine years. One day Larry said to Joe, "You know man its been a long time since we had some sex so you oughta let me fuck you." Joe replied. "Are you crazy?!!" Larry went on to say, "I promise you that it won't hurt and we'll flip a coin and see who fucks, who first. So, Joe thought about it for a minute and finally agreed. They flipped a coin and Larry won. Still having strong reservation Joe asked, "How will you tell if it hurts or not?" Larry told Joe, "If it hurts you start making animal noises, and I'll stop. But if it feels good start singing." Larry started the insertion and Joe screamed, Moooooooo. Moooooo. Mooooon River......

Why do gays eat refried beans on Saturday night?
→ So they can take a bubble bath Sunday morning.

Two gay male lovers were talking and Bob says to Jon, "I wish I had chest hair like you" So the next day Bob goes to the doctor and asks for something to grow chest hair. The doctor gives him something and he says "It will work in about two months." Two months later Bob has no hair on his chest and back to the doctor he goes. The Doctor says, 'Rub some Vaseline on your chest, and in a week you will be growing hair.' Jon comes home that day seeing Bob rub Vaseline and asks "Why?" Bob says "to grow chest hair" Jon says "if Vaseline grows hair you would have a ponytail comin' out your ass!"

How can you tell if your date really digs oral sex?
→ She hikes up her skirt every time you yawn.

Two young girls were talking about their sex lives when the first girl says, "Oh my god!, it was really great, but I was Sooo scared after his rubber broke. I didn't get a good night's sleep for a week."

"What happened." Says her intrigued friend.

"I didn't know what I was going to do, but I was finally able to get the last little piece of it out with dental floss."

A couple on their honeymoon woke up after their big night.

The bride rolled over and said, "That was nice but tell me, what did my pussy look like before you rooted it?"

The husband replied "Like a beautiful rose with drops of dew on it."

"That's nice honey" she replied, "What did it look like after you rooted it?"

"Like a bulldog eating porridge" the husband replied.

A guest from some foreign country was bragging that in HIS country there is 79 different ways to make mad passionate love.

Ray listened patiently.

- That's amazing. Where I come from there's really only one.

"Oh," sniffed the Romeo, "just one? And which way is that?"

- Well, there's a man and there's a woman . . .

"Praise Allah!!! Number 80!!!"