School — most commented jokes

How do Religious Education teachers mark exams?
→ With spirit levels.

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like.

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a liberal Democrat. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats, too. Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands flew up into the air.

There was one exception. A girl named Lucy had not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I'm not a liberal Democrat."

"Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"Why I'm a proud conservative Republican," boasts the little girl.

The teacher, a little perturbed and her face slightly red, asked Lucy why she is a conservative Republican.

"Well, I was brought up to trust in myself instead of relying on an intrusive government to care for me and do all of my thinking. My Dad and Mom are conservative Republicans, and I am a conservative Republican too."

The teacher, now angry, loudly says, "That's no reason! What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron? What would you be then?"

The teacher paused and smiled.

"Then," Lucy said, "I'd be a liberal Democrat."

What were the three toughest years in Al Gore's life?
→ Grade six.

The teacher was furious with her son. "Just because you've been put in my class, there's no need to think you can take liberties. You're a pig." The boy said nothing.

"Well! Do you know what a pig is?"

"Yes, Mom," said the boy. "The offspring of a swine."

Why didn't the piglets listen to the teacher pig?
→ Because he was an old boar.

Why did the piglets get in trouble in their stained glass class?
→ They stained it with mud.

Why did the piglets get in trouble in their biology class?
→ They ate all the specimens.

Why did the piglets do badly in school?
→ They were all slow loiners.

Where did the piglets study their ABC's?
→ At a school for higher loining.