School — most commented jokes

What kind of food do maths teachers eat?
→ Square meals!

What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
→ The food!

Where did all the cuts and blood come from?
→ The school went on a trip!

An ideal homework excuse

- Teacher: Where is your homework?

- Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had

- Teacher: Where is your homework?

- Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had

- Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.

- So what's so great about that?

- It's snowing outside!

- Teacher: How much is half of 8?

- Pupil: Up and down or across?

- Teacher: What do you mean?

- Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

Why did the teacher put the lights on?
→ Because the class was so dim!

When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
→ Because there are no pupils to see!

- Examiner: I think you know very little, if anything at all, about the Bible. Can you quote any passage?

- Student: 'Judas departed and went and hanged himself.'

- Examiner: Well, that's a surprise. Can you quote another?

- Student: 'Go thou and do likewise.'