School — most commented jokes

- Teacher: Give me a sentence with the words defence, defeat and detail in it.

- Pupil: When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go before detail!

- Teacher: Billy, please don't whistle while studying.

- Billy: Oh, but I'm not studying - just whistling!

- Teacher: Make up a sentence using the word lettuce!

- Pupil: Let us out of school early!

- Teacher: What's happens to gold when it is exposed to the air?

- Pupil: It's stolen!

- Teacher: What are you reading?

- Pupil: I dunno!

- Teacher: But you're reading aloud!

- Pupil: But I'm not listening!

- Teacher: Were you copying his sums?

- Pupil: No Sir, just seeing if he got mine right!

- Teacher: Tommy, put some more water in the fish tank!

- Pupil: Why, Miss, I only put some in yesterday and he hasn't drunk that yet!

The teacher was giving her pupils a quiz on counting. Jackie got things started by counting from 1 to 10. "Now, Fred," said the teacher, "you take over, beginning with 11."
"11, 14, 23, 42, 26," said Fred.
"What kind of counting is that?" asked the teacher
"Who's counting?" replied Fred. "I'm calling signals."

- If I had five coconuts and I gave you three, how many would I have left?

- I don't know.

- Why not?

- In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges.

Jackie stood quietly as her father examined her report card.
"What is this 45 in math?" asked her father.
"I think that's the size of the class," she said quickly!